Sugar Lovin' Babies

I like to bake and when I make things like frosting or whipped cream I let the girls lick the beaters.I've only done it a couple of times with the little one, but apparently it is memorable. Saturday I was making lemon bars and using the mixer when she came scampering into the kitchen wildly stroking her hand across her chest (this is her version of the sign for 'please.') She was tugging at my leg begging "PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE" in sign language. It was very sweet, but unfortunately I had to deny her her special joy. I may have to make some frosting so the little sugar babies can enjoy a treat.

I did it!

Yee HAW! Yes, I did it, I ran 9.3 miles in 1 hour and 41 minutes which is a little under 11 min. miles. I'm pretty excited. It was a great race, in fact it may be my favorite one yet. Everything went well, I didn't cry - though I almost did when I passed a spectator in the last mile that was standing in front of her house clapping for each of us as we passed saying, "You are doing so well, I am so proud of you." I didn't know her, but it was so encouraging to hear it directed right at me.

So now I have about a week off before I get to start working towards a 1/2 marathon in September!

My Race

Tomorrow, at the crack of dawn, I have my race that I have been training for for the last 10 weeks. It's a 15K, which translates to 9.3 miles. I have run 10+ miles during this training, so I know that I can do it, but for some reason I am insanely nervous. Every time that I think about the race my stomach turns. I have to stop and take a deep breath every once in a while because my breathing has become so shallow and tight. I know that as I lay in bed tonight I will not go to sleep when I need to, but rather after an hour or so of pointless thinking.

Why? That's the thing. There is no reason, whatsoever that I need to be worried. As I was telling my little sister the other day, my primary goal is to not die, after that it is to finish the race, and the third goal is to do so without crying. I'm not chasing a certain time, I don't even know how fast I'm going to run this. My older daughter asked me if I'd be the first one across the finish line to which I assured her that that would certainly not be the case. Basically, there is no pressure to accomplish anything, but I'm still nervous.

So tomorrow, as you are all waking up (or still sleeping), please ask a little prayer for my nerves and that I finish it without crying.

Speaking of Vegetables

We have a CSA membership this year with a local organic farmer. That means that we pay up front for weekly deliveries of veggies that last from mid-May to Thanksgiving. The veggies that we get are nothing short of gorgeous. They are just the most perfect, fresh, beautiful veggies I've seen.

Plus, the pickup is in the church courtyard which adds to the beauty.

This bounty added to our blossoming garden means we have lots and lots of vegetables. So many, in fact, that we have to eat them at every meal and in between so they aren't lost. I've come up with a great idea for the excess that we have. Last night I took most of the extra veggies and cooked them with a bouillon cube and some water until they were all tender. Then I pureed the mix in the food processor and voila! Instant veggie goo. No, it's actually really good. I used carrots, celery, cauliflower (all left over from camping), green garlic, and some spinach leaves. I didn't use any fat in it so there was no weird separation as it sits in the fridge. It's really good cold with some fresh cream mixed in. And, it is easy to eat and an easy way to get rid of the extra veggies.

A Nice Morning

I was originally going to title this entry "A Beautiful Morning," but I'm a little too cranky for that. It is nice, however. I got to sleep until nearly 8, which never happens. It's actually cool outside, and it was last night, so our house is not the sauna it has been. Our indoor plants are perking up after being neglected for a couple of weeks. Our robin's eggs hatched finally. There was some concern about them since Memorial Day when she was off her nest a lot, but there are two little heads popping up.

In a little while, I'm planning on heading over to our garden. It's nice enough out that I may ride my bike over there, with the trailer in tow. Our garden is exploding! We have more lettuce than we need and our peas are ready to be frozen. Next up, we'll have green beans and zucchini and eventually strawberries. We also have a couple volunteer tomatoes from last year. The kids like to go to the garden, too. The big one loves the snap peas and eats a lot of them. I told her that she can eat as many of them as she wants because there's no sense in restraining a child's love of something green. The little one likes to pull up plants, which would be helpful if she were pulling weeds, but she usually pulls up green beans or lettuce. My husband needs to work on her plant identification skills.

It should be a nice day to get things done and enjoy being outside. (A beautiful morning to see and behold with slight change of attitude.)

More on the house

We submitted the repair addendum last weekend and had 5 days until it needed to be settled. Yesterday, our realtor called and said that the seller didn't want to fix anything. There's mold in the finished basement and electrical stuff that has to be fixed for our loan to go through and the deck that is basically unsafe. But the seller is an old man, nearly 90, and I felt really badly about loading him up with all of these repairs when what he really wants to do is move to the retirement community and enjoy his life!

Later in the afternoon our realtor called back and said that now he would fix things. He's overwhelmed by all of the planning and scheduling that needs to be done but his realtor is going to help him. And, the kicker is that he really wants us to have the house. (There's always the possibility that we can get out of the deal if it's not fixed to our satisfaction.)

So now we have upset an old man and guilted him into fixing things and spending money that he may or may not have. From our side, these things really do need to be fixed, but I feel badly about stressing the poor guy out! Our realtor is doing an excellent job of fighting for us, but she could probably tone it down a bit.

And another thing, we may have to move the closing date back to Sept. 1 because the retirement community's schedule. SO....... we may have a house someday, I'm not sure when. (The worst part is trying to rein in my husband and his inherited worry/anxiety. )

Dairy Diary part II (or so)

Last year on Valentine's Day I ate too much chocolate. I had just had the little one less than a month before and was taking the opportunity to drown my sorrows of being a new mom (for the second time) in the mass of chocolate we had acquired from the holiday. The little one, on the other hand, was taking that opportunity to become overly sensitive and in essence ruin my life (for a short time.) Her little hardened belly and resulting anger (that persisted for the next year) turned my otherwise care-free life upside down. I had to give up dairy, as I'm sure you all know because I talked about it constantly for a year.

More monumental than the simple act of giving up my most beloved and predominant food group was the fact that my whole attitude towards food changed. It's amazing what guilt can do, especially when the result of one's sin is a pained and angry baby. Stress and sadness found refuge in non-dairy substitutions. Exhaustion was relieved by unprecedented amounts of peanut butter. The point is that I developed a completely unhealthy and emotionally charged relationship with food. Ultimately, I couldn't have what I really wanted and what I really wanted hurt my baby. It sucked.

Luckily, the little one's sensitivities are gone and I have been journeying along the long road to 'recovery.' I've been working fairly diligently at normalizing food again, relearning the true pleasures of it, and figuring out what is really important to me. I've read books about several other experiences and I'm feeling like I have gained new insights and tools. Unfortunately, I fear that this will never fully be resolved. In times of higher stress (like when my in-laws visit) I find comfort in mindless eating. I hope that at some point I won't reach for food when I'm sad or bored or uncomfortable.

Ultimately, I hope that my girls will develop great relationships with food and not fall into unhealthy patterns. It's scary to think about the possibilities that lurk around our society. I hope that I can model normalcy and I hope that I can pass onto them the true pleasure that I am learning to find in good food.